“When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you. Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
Oh my soul, what a burden I am.
And God, why do you long for me?
What a disgrace I will be to heaven.
What shame I carry under your name.
Release this weight of sin from your goodness.
Take your badge of grace off this wretched image.
How disgusted I am to bring dishonor to glory.
Though, as I long to rid your world of my iniquity,
You will nonetheless bring this waist to freedom.
Let me go.
I deserve what I should have payed the price for.
Take your honor and your glory and throw me to the fire.
This blackened stain should have no place as your witteness.
No place should I have to retreat when life finally ends.
Take back what I should never have owned;
Give your gift to those who will do you justice.
Look away and never back.
How could I be yours?
Forgive me not and cast me down to where I deserve.
Be glorified oh my God.
Oh God, I am your abomination.
I want nothing to do with your disgrace.
Leave me and be holy.
Be faithful to all yet faithless to me.
I could never deserve You.
So, help me, dear God...
That I would receive your mercy.
That I would dwell in the cross.
That I would live in redemption.
That I would rest in your blood.
That your reconciliation would be my strength.
That I might not hide from my Father...
But be seen and free.